I got wordy with this one

So, last night I had been in bed for about 5 minutes when I see a light come on. Then my dad came and asked me to come see if I could smell the smell he was smelling in his room. As soon as I walked out of my room, I could smell something very distinct that was electrical smelling. So, for an hour we walked around the house like some coon hounds sniffing to see if we could pinpoint where the smell was coming from. I was terribly afraid that there was a fire in the attic, but my dad never saw any smoke. Finally we figured out that it was the refrigerator. I kept hearing something popping everytime we walked by it. So, our 25 year old refrigerator has finally went kaput! Here is a picture of the old fridge. It was a trusty old thing. Except when it leaked and quit making ice and would make the milk get icey, and water would drain to the bottom underneath the drawers and I would have to take everything out to clean it, but otherwise, fantastic fridge. It was funny when I cleaned it off and out that you could see the outlines of the pictures and magnets that haven't moved off the fridge in about 10 years. Here is a picture of our current, temporary fridge. Since it is cool enough outside, we have the milk sitting in the rocking chair on the porch and these things are inside the truck with the windows down so that they stay cool. Of course, no matter how cool it may be and what my dad says, I don't plan on eating or drinking anything that we have had to put outside. I don't want to risk the chance of food poisoning. We were hoping to get one of them fancy fridges that have the freezer on one side and the fridge on the other, but my dad measured and it won't fit where we have the space. boo! I'm hoping that maybe we can find one that will fit.
So, after the excitement of the fridge I wouldn't have thought that anything else could happen today. But then I woke up and I turned on the news and see that we got to go in to school 2 hours late thanks to black ice and debris from last nights storms. Yay! Of course losing 2 hours did not seem to make the day go by any faster. I did get my plans done for next week, but then I just still don't feel like I'm doing a great job. You don't realize how many things you are supposed to teach and cover and have them master by the time they go the 3rd grade. And I don't want the 3rd grade teachers to think my kids are incompetent because of how or what I taught them.

I was in a mood today. I think I know why and that just makes me even madder. I don't like to feel like I've been, umm, well, I feel like a fool. Which is really my own fault and really probably just my own ridiculous self being silly about the whole thing. But if you know me, you know I'm pretty guarded when it comes to matters of the heart. Well, to make a long story short, I got brave, told someone how I felt and what I thought. From my end, I thought the feelings were reciprocated, but a month later and there are still no developments. So, was I too honest and they got scared? Are they just really busy and still thinking over everything we talked about? What's the deal?

I just have to ask, is there some outstanding reason that I cannot get a date? I mean I have had many a conversation with my sister about this and I can't figure it out. I'm honest, trustworthy, fun, nice, kind, caring, pretty (yes I'll toot my own horn and be conceited for once), spunky, and I have a great personality. (This is where the title of the blog comes from). Why is a good personality and a pretty face not enough. What else do I need? I'm not fake or mean or gross or grotesque. I just don't get it. And you can't say that I don't try. I put myself out there, not in a floozy way but just so people know I'm available and looking to meet someone and get to know them and see what happens. I tell my friends and co-workers that I'm on the market and if they know anyone to introduce us, but to no avail.

What else can I do?I just get fired up about this because it's something that is completely out of my control and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. I have always believed that there is at least one person out there for every one. I don't want to be 40 years old before I ever meet that person. I am an optimist and an idealist. I was telling a some people about a woman in the community that is about 80 years old or so and how I told my sister that that was going to be me ( I was having a pity party). Instead of saying my "idealist" statement ("No, it won't. You'll get married. You'll find somebody), someone says the "realist" statement, "That would be ok. There's nothing wrong with it." I thought it was an interesting point of view. After thinking about it, no, there isn't anything wrong with it. EXCEPT it's not ok for me. I DO want to find a man and marry him and share a life with him and have a family with him. No, I'm not saying that I want it right this very second. I think I would flip out a little bit if it happened within the next year or so, but I would like the opportunity to get to know someone who could be all of those things. I would like the chance to show someone everything I have to offer as a human being.

So, basically I've been on a soap box and having a pity party for myself all day trying to figure out what is so wrong with me that I can't even get a date. A DATE. I mean I'm not looking for a free dinner and movie. Heck, I will pay for myself. All I want is male companionship and the CHANCE to get to know someone. What is so wrong with that? I'm sure relationships scare men. Heck it scares me, but at least I'm willing to chance it.

I guess all I can do is keep being me. I can live with the fact that I'm a good person. I've slowly made myself a better person than I was 2, 5, even 10 years ago. I have learned a lot about myself and made changes that make me feel good about myself as a person about the choices I make. I do have a great personality. I will continue to believe that any man who can tame me deserves to have my heart because I am awesome! I can live with myself knowing that I have done everything I know to do to let it be known that I am interested and available. Not in a desperate way, but they know. I guess if I am destined to be that 80 year old, never married woman, then so be it. As long as I make a difference in one person's life, then my life will feel complete. I just want the chances I feel that I deserve.

I won't say I'm done thinking about this or worrying about it or getting fired up about it, but at least I have it off my chest. Now, if you want to introduce me to a nice fella, you know how I feel. Go forth and find me a date!

To make myself feel a little better, I used some different makeup and decided to play America's Next Top Model.